Freaks, Geeks and Strange Girls

3 is a magic number

2008-12-19T10:57:00.001-05:00

Please join me in a toast to surviving (barely) 3 years of motherhood!

the wisdom of pre-schoolers

2008-10-30T09:26:00.002-04:00

last night Char & I were playing in her "tent" in her bedroom (a sheet strung across the room canopy style) and she looks at me -hand on hip and says, "y'know mommy-sometimes people get mad at each other"
then in what i think of as her tough-guy voice she goes,"c'mere mommy"
and gives me a giant bear hug.
How do babies turn into little grown-ups seemingly overnight?
Also Char got one of those singing Halloween Cards with a cute, cartoon mummy on the front that sings "Walk Like an Egyption", she plays it over & over again & sings along to the words she can figure out, mostly the "way-oh, way-oh, waaaay-ooooohh", but you can see her trying to figure out the rest of the words.
*sigh*
my heart is full, until some jack-wipe comes along & sticks a pin in my balloon.

Get over it people!!!!

2008-09-12T10:16:00.003-04:00

These shoes are just plain funny! Their name says it all "Heelarious"(http://www.heelarious.com/index.php). These are not a threat to our next generation of feminists, they are just another excuse for parents to spend too much money on something that will be outgrown in a month-Chill out people!!!!

"Drill, Drill, Drill"- a political commentary by Eve Ensler

2008-09-11T09:22:00.000-04:00

I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a particular thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it's their snowy whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need the polar bears.

I don't like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have spent my life trying to build community, help empower women and stop violence against them. It is hard to write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The people who made this choice count on the goodness and solidarity of Feminists.

But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of one story -- connected to saving the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending violence and war.

I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover. But what is equally disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept, the bizarre be elected to the presidency with regularity.

Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, "It was a task from God."

Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not believe women who are raped and incested and ripped open against their will should have a right to determine whether they have their rapist's baby or not.

She obviously does not believe in sex education or birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.

Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From what I gather she has tried to ban books from the library, has a tendency to dispense with people who think independently. She cannot tolerate an environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a woman who could and might very well be the next president of the United States. She would govern one of the most diverse populations on the earth.

Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40 caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves from the air.

Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right, her private right. But when God and Guns come together in the public sector, when war is declared in God's name, when the rights of women are denied in his name, that is the end of separation of church and state and the undoing of everything America has ever tried to be.

I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote that will determine the future not just of the U.S., but of the planet. It will determine whether we create policies to save the earth or make it forever uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or whether we escalate violence through invasion, undermining and attack. It will determine whether we go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our money in alternatives that will free us from dependency and destruction. It will determine if money gets spent on education and healthcare or whether we build more and more methods of killing. It will determine whether America is a free open tolerant society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and aggression.

If the Polar Bears don't move you to go and do everything in your power to get Obama elected then consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin spoke at the RNC, "Drill Drill Drill." I think of teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think of destruction. I think of domination. I think of military exercises that force mindless repetition, emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or dissent. I think of pain.

Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples, more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we call life?

Busy Mom Time-Saving Tip #5,672

2008-09-11T09:17:00.001-04:00

Wolf down a buttered bagel in the car on the way to work & you get:

breakfast
instant lipgloss
healthy looking nails & cuticles!

File under "T" for TMI

2008-09-08T15:20:00.005-04:00

Charlotte is in the midst of potty training.
She, of course, is far more fascinated in what everyone else is doing on the toilet than what she is supposed to be doing.
Sunday she rattled the door knob and walked into the bathroom while i was peeing, peered at my undies where I had a bit of spotting, and says,
"You ok Mommy? you go poopie in your pants."
No, Charlotte, Mommy is just fine...

image courtesy of restlessmama.blogspot.com

best thing ever!!!!!

2008-09-08T12:57:00.002-04:00

Well I guess I'm screwed then!

2008-09-08T10:06:00.001-04:00

This met me when I logged into our accounting system today-SEPTEMBER 8th

my sentiments exactly...

2008-09-08T09:22:00.001-04:00

From Christy The Writer:

I was in one of those moods today. You know what I’m talking about. The mood that makes you go, “OK, I am really being foul here. Am I PMSy? No. Am I hungry? Nope. Am I tired? Not really…” And you run down the list of possible reasons for your mood, summarily rejecting each one, until you give a little start and drop whatever’s in your hand as you realize, “Oh man. This must just be who I am.”

You should check her out-she's on my daily blog route: http://www.christythewriter.com/

This is awesome!

2008-09-05T15:13:00.001-04:00

Oh Sarah...

2008-09-05T15:12:00.000-04:00

ok-call me a sexist asshole, but she is just too young & attractive-BEYOND all the HA-YUGE character/policy flaws-I know that is a double standard, but I know the way old stodgy men treat young cute women & unfortunately to quote project runway-she is a hot tranny mess
I don't think it's right but it is what it is
Hillary & Geraldine were both more mature experienced women, I don't have an issue with women in office AT ALL!!!
but why make it any easier for people to NOT take you seriously
OK that was probably the most politically incorrect rant I've ever put in print but whateva

And how was your weekend?

2008-08-29T15:04:00.003-04:00

Hello everyone!

Thank you for supporting my participation in the
Breast Cancer 3-Day! It was an amazing experience
and more powerful than I ever could have imagined.
To say it was a physical and emotional roller coaster
would be an understatement.

It all began with beautiful pink sunrise on Friday
morning, during the Opening Ceremony just outside
of Foxboro Stadium. Unfortunately, this promptly
turned to rain as we entered the day's route.
HEAVY rain. But we cheerily trudged along, all the
while cheered on by an army of amazing, supportive
volunteers and appreciative townspeople.

The weather took a dangerous turn later in the day
when we were just a couple of miles away from camp,
so all walkers were cleared from the route
and bussed in. After looking for our luggage in a
sea of bags and pitching our tentin what felt like a
monsoon, we were informed that all 2000+ walkers,
crew & volunteers would actually have to sleep inside the
school gymnasium. Thanks to some quick thinking
on Jen's part we urgently called everyone we could
think of until we were able to get a hold of her brother
who Googled us a taxi and a hotel. :-) Thanks, Kurt!

After a hot shower and a good night's sleep in a dry bed,
Saturday dawned literally and figuratively bright. It was
a comfortable day for walking, with some clouds,
a nice breeze, . We were all a bit stiff from being cold
and wet the day before, but worked out the kinks and
made good progress.

Well, until just after lunch time that is.

Jen started to experience a severe shooting pain in her
right leg and my feet were starting to look & feel like
bricks (Thanks, Lupus!).
After a visit to the medical tent, I got my blisters treated
and started to feel on the mend, unfortunately Jen did not
fare so well. She was "red carded" and was no longer
allowed to continue on the course. :-(

Jen cheered me on as I left camp on Sunday morning.
I was so proud of myself for continuing on solo-and
Jen made an awesome cheerleader, she met me at
lunch to help me refill my water bottle and get me
some food so I could continue on my way.

Jen met me at the Finish Line and we were able to go
the last 500 yards together-what an emotional experience-I
broke down-amazed and overcome by our accomplishments.

After the last walker crossed the finish line, amid riotous
cheering, we participated in a very emotional closing
ceremony. If I had any doubts about participating in '09
they were vanquished after taking part in this life changing weekend!

And here's the even better news:

Because of your generosity, and the support of all
of my donors, I raised over $2,800 to help end
breast cancer! As a group, the Boston walk raised $5.1 MILLION!
And there are still 12 events to go around the country this year.
Can you imagine a day without breast cancer? Now I can!
For more information about the 3-Day and
Susan G. Komen for the Cure, visit www.The3Day.org.

Thank you for making this possible. Maybe next year you can join us!

Much love,
Pam Hollaway
Track for Racks 2009!
Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/BostonEvent?px=1604970&pg=personal&fr_id=1182&et=H1YmxyznKfKMJHodf8DYiQ..&s_tafId=1338
Click here to view the team page for Tracks for Racks
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/BostonEvent?team_id=20460&pg=team&fr_id=1182&et=KJ5dWLMOkIQDgovFp1_eTg..&s_tafId=1338








TV Partner:

Breast Cancer 3-Day, 1200 W. 35th Street, Suite 360, Chicago, IL 60609

2008-08-29T14:58:00.002-04:00

so why is it that an 8 hour day will whiz past, but when you are waiting for an ebay auction to end the minutes totally fucking crawl?????

I'm squishing your head...

2008-07-08T11:39:00.001-04:00

arrrghhh myheadbandissqueezingmyskull!!!!
I always say I'm not going to wear it again & then one day I'll get dressed and be like, "oh that would look cute today"
And I can't even take it out bc my hair would be fucked.
And I can't figure out how to wear my sunglasses or glasses without making my ears stick out.
whiny
little
bitch

Splat

2008-07-03T23:34:00.002-04:00

so who knew that when a fire fly hits your windsheild the splat glows in the dark

Where is Sir Mixalot when you need him?

2008-07-03T23:27:00.002-04:00

Heard while filling my tank at a W.V. truck stop:

"Giiiirl, you shore have a big-ass bootie!"

Really, Einstein? I hadn't noticed when I was struggling into my Size 22 cargo pants from the Target "Plus size" dept.

Based on the locale, I have no idea whether this was a compliment or an insult.
You gotta love those ambiguous rednecks!

2008-05-09T16:58:00.000-04:00

poke it with a stick

2008-05-09T16:49:00.005-04:00

i have always had the destructive inability to leave well enough alone-as a child I used a ballpoint pen to carve vaguely pornographic drawings into my heirloom bedroom furniture (well who gives a 5 year old family heirloom furniture anyway?) and i regularly pick up small dead things and bring them home in boxes and altoid tins, so it should come as no surprise that today i finally had to poke a hole in the silicone filled neoprene gel wrist rest that sits on my office desk. Now every time i lift my hand from the mouse it makes a little sticky schlupping "feel" as it leaks minute drops of gray grimy silicone onto my hand. wow that sucks. I am an idiot.

Good Samaritan

2008-05-07T13:29:00.004-04:00

Okay this is for the woman who came in to the Chinese restaurant lobby to report a child abandoned in a car in the parking lot, while I stood waiting for my order playing peekaboo with my daughter (said abandoned child) from the window (we were parked just outside the big glass storefront). The woman who then also waited for me to leave the restaurant and go retrieve my daughter before she would drive away.
Thanks for making me feel like the worst mom ever! ,!,, (that's a big eff-u to those of you who can't read my cryptic hiroglyphics)

Nude!!! Girls!!! Live!!!

2008-05-07T13:19:00.002-04:00

Number of times Charlotte stripped during Sunday's nap=4
Number of "unfruitful" potty trips=6
Getting to see the cutest little baby bootie EVER=priceless

OKay okay I know that bit is waaaay overused but look at it-admit it-super cute

naptime fun

2008-04-03T16:42:00.002-04:00

Despite the fact that everytime (yes there have been multiple times) Ian puts Charlotte down to nap in our bed "mommy bed*insert tears here* mommy bed", she wreaks havoc in our room, i.e. the time she toddled into the computer room covered in body lotion from head to toe and wearing a cock-ring as a bracelet...
He put her down in there again today *sigh* she swept everything off the top of the bookshelf headboard and poured water on my spongelike temperpedic pillow
He promises this is the last time.
I told him that each time he does this going forward, regardless of the result, he will lose a finger.
ahhhh...motherhood

Ira Glass: this american sex symbol

2008-04-03T16:09:00.004-04:00

So I've decided that I love Ira Glass.
I've been listening to my favorite NPR & PRI programs at work. For some reason it's more entertaining/easier than music, and half the time I'm listening to Pandora I'm checking on average every two minutes to see the artist name or song title.
Soooooo basically I've been listening to archives of This American Life almost nonstop for the past week. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I run out of podcasts. *sigh*

2008-04-02T13:44:00.000-04:00

Ok so I go to get my flu shot at a clinic held at my daughter's school & I played out a little scene that I basically know by heart at this point. it goes a little something like this:
Nurse: you'll feel a stick (jamming needle full of god knows wht the FDA has deemed "safe")
Me:*flinch*
Nurse: That wasn't so bad-what about all those tattoos-they used needles for those
Me: that's different-it doesn't feel like needles being jammed into a muscle
Nurse:How many do you have
Me: 60% of my body
Nurse: And how old were you when you made that decision?
Me: It was gradual over the past 18 years
Nurse: Do you still like them
Me: Yup (still trying to be polite but sending brain missles for this elderly nurse to just DROP IT!!!)
Nurse: Well I hope you still feel that way when you're older.
Me: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NOSEY OLD BAT, I WILL-& ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT I DON'T I'LL CALL YOU & YOU CAN HAVE THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT YOU WERE RIGHT-OH WAIT YOU'LL BE DEAD!!!!

no not really-but that woulda' been cool

originally published Nov. 16, 2006

Wicked bad

2008-04-02T13:40:00.000-04:00

To borrow a bit from SNL..
People suck in 3 distinct ways:
So Bad
So Hard
Wicked Bad
Allow me to explain
This morning I went into our kitchen at work to put sugar in my coffee-NO SUGAR
I had to go back to the stinky fish-sauce/pickled radish smelling factory kitchen (don't even think about calling me a racist-it's the truth!) and refill our empty coffee can that passes for a ghetto sugar canister from their giant 3 gallon tub (I guess they REEEEALLLY like sugar).
-THEN-
I went to put get hot water from the dispenser to mix my oatmeal-NO WATER
It's not pretty to watch a fat girl in a skirt wrestle with a 5 gallon water bottle.

It would be one thing if this happened once in awhile, but I get the distinct impression that I'm either working with a bunch of people that still live with their mom's or they are morons
That is all