I'm squishing your head...

arrrghhh myheadbandissqueezingmyskull!!!!
I always say I'm not going to wear it again & then one day I'll get dressed and be like, "oh that would look cute today"
And I can't even take it out bc my hair would be fucked.
And I can't figure out how to wear my sunglasses or glasses without making my ears stick out.
whiny
little
bitch

Splat

so who knew that when a fire fly hits your windsheild the splat glows in the dark

Where is Sir Mixalot when you need him?

Heard while filling my tank at a W.V. truck stop:

"Giiiirl, you shore have a big-ass bootie!"

Really, Einstein? I hadn't noticed when I was struggling into my Size 22 cargo pants from the Target "Plus size" dept.

Based on the locale, I have no idea whether this was a compliment or an insult.
You gotta love those ambiguous rednecks!