Ok so I go to get my flu shot at a clinic held at my daughter's school & I played out a little scene that I basically know by heart at this point. it goes a little something like this:
Nurse: you'll feel a stick (jamming needle full of god knows wht the FDA has deemed "safe")
Me:*flinch*
Nurse: That wasn't so bad-what about all those tattoos-they used needles for those
Me: that's different-it doesn't feel like needles being jammed into a muscle
Nurse:How many do you have
Me: 60% of my body
Nurse: And how old were you when you made that decision?
Me: It was gradual over the past 18 years
Nurse: Do you still like them
Me: Yup (still trying to be polite but sending brain missles for this elderly nurse to just DROP IT!!!)
Nurse: Well I hope you still feel that way when you're older.
Me: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NOSEY OLD BAT, I WILL-& ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT I DON'T I'LL CALL YOU & YOU CAN HAVE THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT YOU WERE RIGHT-OH WAIT YOU'LL BE DEAD!!!!

no not really-but that woulda' been cool

originally published Nov. 16, 2006