naptime fun

Despite the fact that everytime (yes there have been multiple times) Ian puts Charlotte down to nap in our bed "mommy bed*insert tears here* mommy bed", she wreaks havoc in our room, i.e. the time she toddled into the computer room covered in body lotion from head to toe and wearing a cock-ring as a bracelet...
He put her down in there again today *sigh* she swept everything off the top of the bookshelf headboard and poured water on my spongelike temperpedic pillow
He promises this is the last time.
I told him that each time he does this going forward, regardless of the result, he will lose a finger.
ahhhh...motherhood

Ira Glass: this american sex symbol

So I've decided that I love Ira Glass.
I've been listening to my favorite NPR & PRI programs at work. For some reason it's more entertaining/easier than music, and half the time I'm listening to Pandora I'm checking on average every two minutes to see the artist name or song title.
Soooooo basically I've been listening to archives of This American Life almost nonstop for the past week. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I run out of podcasts. *sigh*

Ok so I go to get my flu shot at a clinic held at my daughter's school & I played out a little scene that I basically know by heart at this point. it goes a little something like this:
Nurse: you'll feel a stick (jamming needle full of god knows wht the FDA has deemed "safe")
Me:*flinch*
Nurse: That wasn't so bad-what about all those tattoos-they used needles for those
Me: that's different-it doesn't feel like needles being jammed into a muscle
Nurse:How many do you have
Me: 60% of my body
Nurse: And how old were you when you made that decision?
Me: It was gradual over the past 18 years
Nurse: Do you still like them
Me: Yup (still trying to be polite but sending brain missles for this elderly nurse to just DROP IT!!!)
Nurse: Well I hope you still feel that way when you're older.
Me: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NOSEY OLD BAT, I WILL-& ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT I DON'T I'LL CALL YOU & YOU CAN HAVE THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT YOU WERE RIGHT-OH WAIT YOU'LL BE DEAD!!!!

no not really-but that woulda' been cool

originally published Nov. 16, 2006

Wicked bad

To borrow a bit from SNL..
People suck in 3 distinct ways:
So Bad
So Hard
Wicked Bad
Allow me to explain
This morning I went into our kitchen at work to put sugar in my coffee-NO SUGAR
I had to go back to the stinky fish-sauce/pickled radish smelling factory kitchen (don't even think about calling me a racist-it's the truth!) and refill our empty coffee can that passes for a ghetto sugar canister from their giant 3 gallon tub (I guess they REEEEALLLY like sugar).
-THEN-
I went to put get hot water from the dispenser to mix my oatmeal-NO WATER
It's not pretty to watch a fat girl in a skirt wrestle with a 5 gallon water bottle.

It would be one thing if this happened once in awhile, but I get the distinct impression that I'm either working with a bunch of people that still live with their mom's or they are morons
That is all